Through my journey I discovered a few things about living a centered, easy, and deeply meaningful life but getting here was hard earned. Now I'm dedicated to living out loud and sharing teachings and insights with you in the hope that your path will be a little easier than mine.
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People often ask,
“How did you get into Life Coaching?”
I’ve been interested in personal development and self improvement for as long as I can remember. I was born into an emotionally chaotic family environment which probably had a large part to play in my interest in what made people tick.
I studied Psychology at McGill University because when you grow up standing at your window watching people go by and wondering what they were thinking and feeling, psychology is probably a natural draw. But I soon found that it was not what I expected it to be. Psychology back then seemed to be more about understanding physical and mental dysfunction rather than offering a way of dealing with the everyday business of being a whole and happy human being.
I wanted to know: Why do some people seem easy going and others, like myself, struggle?
What makes people really
happy and fulfilled?
What does success really mean and how can I have some?
I spent my twenties doing what I thought was supposed to be done. By the time I was 26, I had purchased a property, was 5 years into a steady relationship, and 3 years into a 9-5 corporate job as a project manager with some big clients on my speed dial.
Then my parents divorced. The divorce unearthed everything that I had been burying and it became obvious that happiness could not be gained by simply mimicking what I thought everyone else was doing.
Right after my 27th birthday I quit work, ended my relationship, rented my space, and took off. I travelled and worked as a Freelance Project Manager and Management Consultant, visiting 5 countries and 24 states while collecting people's stories, reading research and self help books, and trying to figure out what felt so off about my life. Here I was, having grand adventures and building what I thought was a semblance of a career, but on Mission Beach, San Diego, I wondered how the sky could be so clear and blue yet I felt none of the happiness and aliveness of my surroundings. And in a lavish apartment on Bourbon street, New Orleans, I wondered why I would consider taking my own life, my own suicide note stopping me from going too far.
There were traumas in my life and soon it became time to deal with them properly. I came back home and got to work giving myself 17 weeks to turn it all around. I learned so much, sought help, got a certificate in coaching but weeks turned into months and despite making loads of progress in my understanding and healing, I still carried this hungry hole that seemed incapable of being fulfilled. Months turned to years. Then one day, I lost "the love of my life" and it broke me. I was done. How could I have done everything “right” and still life was just not working out? "I'm going to lose it, I won't be able to handle it, this is going to kill me." Then I heard a voice speak. It was in my head; Behind and to the right. Very calmly it offered me this: "Or," it said, "You could not."
You could not... do this. I was so surprised that all the internal dialogue ceased and I looked around. In that one moment, I went from a mind going 100mph to 0. Total stillness. And for once, I became truly sensible to who I was without the accompanying story that goes with it. Imagine losing a lifetime of baggage in the space of an instant. At once, nothing had really changed and yet everything had changed. I felt the shift and knew instantly that I did not have to earn the right to my life. I was life itself, expressing in this tiny instant, beautiful because I am fleeting, and eternally steady. For a moment, I had lost my ego and gained my life.
A moment is all that you need. Now, I'm free to take everything that I had learned and share it with you in a meaningful way. I cannot take you over the finish line, but I have gained the ability to point the way. And that is what my coaching is really about:
The most important lesson I have learned is that I already have everything that I need.
and so do you.
It is in this knowledge alone that we are then free to pursue the goals and dreams that matter most, our personal callings. Trauma is not necessary for these lessons to be applicable. Let my journey serve you, wherever you are in your own life.